Humble pie, and how to avoid being forced to eat it.

I wonder if anyone feels more foolish than Gordon Ramsey right now. Blend that foolishness carefully with the right amount of dismal despair and finish by flambeing it with just a dash of stark realisation, and I suspect he's wishing he had just stuck to something simple from the menu, something maybe rustled up out of a tin at home by his beautiful and undeserving wife.

That's perhaps what you get when you dine out at a seemingly classy establishment that likes to push back the monogamous boundaries; a hefty bill at the end of it and a case of indigestion like you have never known.

Now I know what you are all thinking, "here we go, she's going to stick the Sabatier into Ramsey as the stereotypical cheating male", but you'd be wrong.

My concern is not him, nor is it for the reviled and scheming other woman that he enjoyed his various trysts with, but for his wife Tana.

Having read his book "Humble Pie" (I suspect he sorely wishes he had chosen another title now.....), he talks of his business relationship with Tana's father that led to his meeting her, falling in love, marrying and producing four children. Whilst I am in no way hugely knowledgeable on the subject, I would hazard a guess that Tana's father was/is very capable and authoritative, and that he easily commands respect.

That said, my instincts tell me that these were the qualities she identified in Ramsey, given that as girls many of us look for our fathers' characteristics in would-be partners. To that end, I would suspect that in addition to having to deal with the highly public humiliation she has had to endure, she is painfully having to come to terms with the monumental shock that a man she looked up to, admired and loved has done this to her. If he feels bad right now, you can multiply that by around two thousand and you might get close to how she feels.

Which leads me on to the age old debate.....why do men do this? Why do they take the risk?

Well, I think I have this kind of sorted and boxed off. I'm far from happy with my theory, but I think it's reasonably accurate and as close as I'm going to get. And frankly, I have got to a point in my life where I have given this so much thought that I desperately want to move on mentally.

A few weeks ago a male friend commented that men don't get past the emotional age of seven. At the time I thought that was a little harsh and a bit of a sweeping statement, but given that he was of said gender, I thought it had to carry some credence.

"Whenever a man does something to upset you, or wind you up, just think, 'seven years old', Think how a seven year old boy would act in the same circumstances, and voila". And you know, this theory fits so perfectly that I struggle to imagine another that could topple it.

Take Gordon Ramsey. As my S.O. rightly pointed out, he must have women throwing themselves at him like exocets, so the temptation must have been greater than a Millefeuille à la Framboise (OK, enough with the food gags now...). It clearly had nothing to do with his wife "letting herself go"....as it didn't when Cheryl Cole and hoards of beautiful women before her got themselves unfairly hit by the cheating stick.

So my guess is....he did it because he wanted to, and why, why, oh why shouldn't he? Seven years old.

I think men will do it if they believe there is no chance of being found out. Because they can. And because they want to. Seven years old.

Before any man decides to so much as contemplate cheating on his partner, whether she be a wife of thirty years or a less-important girlfriend, my advice is this:

If you are going to mess around, make absolutely, totally and completely sure that you do not get found out (that's assuming you want to continue your relationship after you have shown total disrespect for your partner).

There is only one thing more unbearable to a woman than the discovery of her partners' infidelity, and that is the pain that follows it. Spare them this. Cover your tracks, check to see they are covered and then go back and recover them again.

I am reliably informed that men can very easily separate sex and love, therefore making it easy for them to have sex with another woman whilst being in love with their longterm partner. Men, listen up: we might acknowledge this if you are very lucky, but we will never, ever truly empathise with it.

And do not assume your partner is stupid. Men do this all the time; they think they are invincible, irresistible and much cleverer than they are. If you are capable of cheating, she probably knows this already. She may chose to ignore it, but you can be sure that won't last forever.

I should make the point rather forcibly that I am not advocating that faithlessness is acceptable on these terms, but if men really feel they cannot keep their trousers on and that temptation is just too great then they should do their partners the common courtesy of making sure their indiscretions never see the light of day in any way, shape or form.

As for Tana Ramsey, I wish her well and I really hope she can find it in her heart to trust him again. And I hope he understands what an immensely huge task he has before him in order for her to do that.