Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Pink fluffy slippers, adult toys and why Helen Mirren is my heroine....

There are so many reasons I love being forty-five that I could practically burst wide open and have them spilling out all over my desk......but that would be way too messy.

The main one that stands head and shoulder above all the others has to be that I really don't care that much about what other people think anymore.

I should stress the "that much" in the previous sentence, because there is occasion when someone very close passes comment and I give it the usual knee-jerk reaction before disappearing into a corner of my mind to contemplate "is that what he thinks of me? Is that a good or a bad thing?" and other such neurotic ramblings...

In this instance it was "you're self-opinionated, too much to say for yourself", closely followed by "I'm not saying that is a bad thing..."

I think the word "gobby" also made it somewhere into the sentence, but I'm hoping that his version of "gobby" doesn't put him in mind of Jade Goody quite in the same way it does me......

Anyway, this is how I see it: being self-opinionated is necessary in this society if you want to make any headway whatsoever. As long as your opinions don't offend, insult or otherwise hurt others, that's OK.

And one other thing darling (in case you're reading), there's only one thing worse than being too opinionated and that's having no opinion at all.... ;-)

Take my opinion on my prized fluffy pink slippers, for example; I grant you that they are not the most seductive footwear I possess but they do one thing and they do it very well.

When I calculate that my chances of coming face-to-face with my SO (a.k.a. significant other) are rare to slim and I want to snuggle down on the sofa with a glass of wine and Greys Anatomy (or something of that ilk), then out they come. They are not attractive in the classic footwear sense (and yet far, far better than Birkenstocks in my opinion) but I have two words to utter here and two words only- toasty toes.

They are a naughty indulgence, I suppose. "Naughty" as in I would never want to be seen in public wearing them, yet I clearly take no issue with admitting my fetish for warm feet on here.

Which leads me on to the term "adult toys", a term that I intend to clear of all wrong-doing and reinstate it's innocence and acceptability in general day-to-day conversation.

Now, we all know what image we conjure up with the term "adult toy", don't we? But why is that?

The inference is that, as adults, if we have a "toy" it must be of the bedroom variety. What about Ipods? What about those sexy new Macbook Airs? What about DIY hair removal laser kits? Are they not "toys"? Do we not get excited as we take delivery and sit for hours figuring out all the features? And do we not scream at the top of our voices to "get off that" if anyone so much as prods our new prized possession in the manner of the most obstinate child you ever heard?

So, do you see? The term "adult toys" is to be embraced, encouraged and nurtured. It should be used freely and without embarrassment. It is part of our grown-up way of life and we should acknowledge it as such.

I, for one, am hoping for a sackful of adult toys on Christmas morning and I don't mind admitting it.

Which leads me onto Helen Mirren, who I am sure has no issue with embarrassment over the term "adult toys" or any other for that matter.

I read in the Sunday Times mag this week with much alacrity that Ms Mirren met a journalist for an interview at a top hotel and opened the conversation with the announcement that she had just eaten eight croissants, a fact that she "seemed quite proud of".

You've got to love her, haven't you? Beautiful, sexy, intelligent, naughty and a love of fat-laden French pastries that she readily admits to.

I mean, come on girls, we all aspire to the likes of the thinnest "celeb du jour", but who would you rather have a night out with? I want to have dinner with someone who grabs for the dessert menu with mucho gusto at the the thought of yet more calories of no nutritional value.

My SO thinks Helen Mirren is very hot, as I am sure most men with a pulse do, so they may have read with some confusion in the interview to which I refer that she prefers women to men in all but the sexual sense.

I love her more with each day that passes. But not in the sexual sense.

35 comments:

Anonymous said...

Fab, fab and, once more I say, fab.

Completely and utterly hilarious!

Anonymous said...

This has to be the funniest thing I've read in a long while!! In fact your whole blog is the funniest thing ever!!!
Keep them coming!

Anonymous said...

I reckon that if Helen Mirren were to read this she would think you're the sort of girl she'd like a night out with too, hun.
There is something soooo sexy about some of you women as you get older....

OK daydream over, back to work :-(

Anonymous said...

I agree, she would think you were great x x x

Anonymous said...

Speaking as a guy, I love it when a woman has plenty to say for herself.
I took loads of girls out before I was married who were gorgeous to look at but couldnt hold a conversation to save their life.
The reason Helen Mirren is so hot is because she is intelligent and sexy, thats a killer combination.
I bet youre like that too Debsy. Yowzah.

Anonymous said...

I expect S.O. likes you being a bit a of a feisty piece Debsy.
We pretend it gets on our nerves but secretly it gets us going (unless the football's on that is)

Anonymous said...

You make me cry with laughing girl.

Anonymous said...

"I, for one, am hoping for a sackful of adult toys on Christmas morning and I don't mind admitting it."

Classic - I love that line

Anonymous said...

SO and Duz = 2 different guys

Anonymous said...

Debs promise me one thing- if you do ever get to have a girls' night out with Helen Mirren please can I have the photos?
Better still, can I come and watch?

Anonymous said...

Yeh you wish, mate

Debs, you must have changed, girl- you were always so sweet, so quiet when I knew you.

Then you started the lap dancing and it all changed, babe.

Anonymous said...

No way is this two different guys.

S.O. and Duz are one and the same, I guarantee.

They have taken the relationship from uncertainty to exclusivity (get your "Men are from Mars" out and see if I'm wrong)

Anonymous said...

Good point Lynda.
But I think they split didn't they?

debsylee said...

Oh thanks Matt, I look back on my lap dancing days very fondly..... now what was the name of the place I worked?

Oh yes..."In Your Dreams Pal"

Anonymous said...

LOL!!!! Nice one :-)))

Anonymous said...

They didn't split- I think they took time out.

Debsylee mentioned seeing him after a break, and then she implied it was back on. After that nothing was really mentioned- I think she just likes to keep it all a bit mysterious.

Anonymous said...

Every time I read one of your posts I think you can't make the next one funnier, and then you do!

Fantastic stuff- really, it is

Anonymous said...

Do we know yet if the guy in the picture behind her is him?

Anonymous said...

Definitely it is- come on!

Look at it this way- if it wasn't, do ya think she'd have the pic on her profile?

Anonymous said...

I read the article on Helen Mirren too; she is one class act.

As you are, Ms Debsylee.

I hope you are talking to people about getting yourself into print?

Anonymous said...

Def it is still Duz, otherwise we would have had the lowdown on how she met this new guy, etc

Anonymous said...

As I see it this getting to be less about who the guy is and more abour her.
For sure she is head over heels about this guy, I grant you that, but every posting we see more and more of who she is.

Anonymous said...

Oh come on- we all want to know who the guy is!
Please Debsylee, a sign!
We beg you!

Anonymous said...

Adult toys- loving it!

I bet you still looked quite hot in the slippers though, eh?

Anonymous said...

I've been reading your blog for some time now and haven't commented yet.

I just wanted to say this, you have a talent for writing in a style that inspires and makes people smile. Such a talent is rare.

Not only that, but your appeal crosses the gender divide. That is rare too.

Someone earlier asked if you were talking to anyone about getting published; seriously, you should do that (if you aren't already)

Anonymous said...

You excel yourself every time honey x

Anonymous said...

Hey Debs, loving your blog; long time, no speak- what is all this about a new man?!
Can I remind you of several wine-soaked nights we had where you swore off men forever and ever?
Hah! I knew someone would capture you in the end!
Lots of love x o x o x

Anonymous said...

For what its worth I think they this is Duz that she is talking about but she doesn't want the relationship laying bare for everyone to pick over.

Anonymous said...

Ditto, Pam

Anonymous said...

I duznot understand the preoccupation with Debsylee's other half.........maybe its duz, maybe its not,maybe its S.O/gaddafi/obama's lost good looking brother/helen mirren/helen mirrens sister.....and ??? the world revolves,finances are crisising and all you fret about is that? .......life.......get one

Anonymous said...

Most of us come on here to escape the mess the world is in.... it's called "escapism" and having a break from it all.
As for getting a life, I have one thanks very much but I prefer not to fill it with doom and gloom 24/7

Anonymous said...

Well said, that's why soap operas are so popular
Personally i'd rather read this, at least it's real

Anonymous said...

You gotta admit guys......you do all take it a bit seriously...

I read it for the laughs; it's worth it for that alone.

Anonymous said...

You know what? I don't really care who the guy is, she is totally in love with him and so it doesn't matter who he is.

She is a good, wise and decent girl so let me tell you this- she will only pick a good, wise and decent man.

May they live a blessed life filled with love, compassion and mutual respect.

Anonymous said...

Finally a girl sings the virtues of fluffy slippers!! Hurrahhh!
And a girl who looks like a bit of a sex kitten, even better!!!
We all love fluffy slippers on the quiet, eh? lol