Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Take me to the banya.......and colour me senseless

There are countless differences between men and women, I am sure you will agree.

Now I have no wish to go into detail on those differences, except for the one; the ability to keep your mind focused in an alternative direction when......it starts to be a long time since you coloured with your special friend (I'm back to Sex and the City here.....the Movie, to be exact).

A man, I am told, will automatically think about colouring; it is part of their make-up to want to colour after a certain number of days. So they will go off and colour on their own somewhere, assuming their special friend is not available to colour with them. Apparently some are so keen to colour that they will even choose to not go for an early morning run, preferring to stay in bed and knock out some nifty artwork on their lonesome.

A woman, however, can simply switch off from colouring until such time as her special friend is available to create another masterpiece.

I am one such woman. In years gone by I have not so much as even glanced in the direction of the crayola for many a month, perhaps even years in some instances (please don't feel too sorry for me, I have been very liberal of late with my use of watercolours...)

That is all well and good, until the time someone describes, in very fine and perfect detail, what a "banya" is. And the reason they tell you is because that is where they are headed to shortly. Mmm.

In the interest of providing an accurate account I just typed the term into Google and found that the "Banya is a traditional Russian steam bath, where people go to wash, relax, and socialize". The one that receives much acclaim according to the web is Sandunovskie Banya in Moscow, which I have to say looks breathtakingly beautiful.

So, back to said description; this is the information I was given:

"I'm going to a banya, men only, getting severely hot, severely cold, beaten with eucalyptus twigs, then a massage, you get the smell of eucalyptus, plus all the toxins come to the surface and then cold, then hot, tea with honey the whole way through, then they cover you in honey head to toe, and you sauna the lot off.

OK, I must go, sleep well x"

Well...... thank you for that; I now have so many images dancing around in my head, men in a banya (which sounds like the best reason I've heard in a long time to get a visa sorted and head to Moscow), eucalyptus twigs, beatings, honey and saunas. Sleep well? I somehow think that is unlikely.

That is the problem when you miss your special colouring friend. A mere mention of the banya and suddenly the urge to get the pastels out is overwhelming.

And when you enjoy having supper, talking and laughing with your special friend, in addition to the oh-so-amazing colouring, you then miss them even more.

But the really great thing is this:

Soon he will be back. And we have, I can assure you, an infinite number of pictures left to create together......

34 comments:

Anonymous said...

I have tears rolling down my face and my sides hurt!

Anonymous said...

That is so funny!!!!! I remember the colouring thing in SATC the Movie but you turn it into a cult classic! Brilliant

Anonymous said...

I didn't colour once for three years and then I met my husband and we haven't stopped for twenty years!

Anonymous said...

So who are you colouring with Debsylee? He must have an eye for detail and depth LOL

Anonymous said...

Jeez Patsy- you are still colouring like kids after 20 years??

Anonymous said...

LOL Dan- I reckon someone who knows his crayons and what to do with them mate

Anonymous said...

I am in bed with flu and this is the first thing to make me laugh in a week. You are so witty, gorgeous and great- Why aren't you famous? ROFL Cathy X

Anonymous said...

Very funny posting and very clever

Anonymous said...

Ditto to all the above, absolutely hilarious post!!!!! :-D :-D :-D :-D

Anonymous said...

I think Debsylee is colouring with her "friend from school"!

Anonymous said...

I know how this feels: my bloke is away for eight months at a time at the very worst. Drives me mad hun

Anonymous said...

My hubby is in the forces and when he is back we colour like mad! Make the most of it when he comes home babe

Anonymous said...

Her friend from school- that is classic I love it. Is it still the guy do you think

Anonymous said...

Yes definitely "the guy"- I would put money on it.
But he clearly puts a smile on her face so who are we to judge?

Anonymous said...

Being separated from your "colouring friend" is enough to drive you nuts, I should know. My husband worked abroad for 3 quarts of the year up until 2 years ago, but we had some pretty terrific reunions in that time lol Have fun when he comes home Debsylee

Anonymous said...

I don't know it is Duz- why won't she talk about him? All so secret compared to how she would talk before

Anonymous said...

Now you're thinking about colouring I bet you have some multicoloured dreams ;-)

Anonymous said...

Whoooooooo! I love it It is the guy- I betcha!!!! They are making sweet colourins together my friends ;-)

Anonymous said...

I hurt from laughing at that; well done- fabulous piece :-)

Anonymous said...

A1 fab- I sent this to all my pals because I know they will love it as well x

Anonymous said...

Love love love love love love love this post! Never laughed so damned hard :-))))))

Anonymous said...

Absolutely bloody hilarious.... big hug girly!

Anonymous said...

I think it is Duz- she is sounding so happy and chilled

Anonymous said...

Eucalyptus baby...mmmm! You is going to get coloured big style whne he gets home!

Anonymous said...

It's the beating of the twigs- why do they have to do the whole pain thing? Just rub some nice oil in and let me sweat in the sauna, get dressed, pick up a takaway and watch Strictly Come Dancing on Skyplus. I don't do wood!!!!

Anonymous said...

Personally I love the beatings. Give me the wood. I'll take it off your hands.

Anonymous said...

I clicked on the link and your right- it looks amazing

Anonymous said...

What unusual Analogies/Metaphors SATC come up with! To the uneducated it took a few seconds to work out what this was about.

And try not to make fun of men colouring alone. Some of us have so little to offer that it's the only colouring we get to do.

Anonymous said...

Hey honey- lots of women colour alone too, don't be fooled by Debsylee's bravado here :-)

Anonymous said...

Everyone colours on their own from time to time but I do think men are more inclined to.

Anonymous said...

The SATC coloring thing- check it out- all is revealed

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=N6DBT_ONAjE

Anonymous said...

You are a naughty girl, Debs.

How is life in the sticks? (oops that wasn't meant as a jibe!)

:-*

Anonymous said...

Awesome posting- Love it LOL

I have no problem admitting to colouring on my own- I go at my own pace and in the style of my own choosing. I'm a bit of an old master if I'm honest (heh heh)

Shabbar Suterwala said...

Wow, this is great..may i add to say creative ....!!!