What this girl wants for Christmas......and other reflections

It may seem derisory to a few that I still refer to myself as a "girl"...but the truth is I often feel more like a child now than I probably ever did. I was quite a serious little thing growing up, often pondering life's variables and seeking my fathers' praise at every twist and turn. Now I ponder and seek far less.....I make a cursory effort but I don't get bent out of shape any more over it.

So the end of 2008 draws near, and I'm sitting and contemplating lessons learnt, and also new friends found and those I've lost.

Life's lessons learnt....that is always the good old roasted chestnut, isn't it? My number one eureka moment I'd have to partly credit my friend Dean with.

We were discussing the law of attraction and other nuggets from "The Secret" when he uttered something quite brilliant in it's simplicity:

"If you keep failing in a particular direction, it's because you are on the wrong track and you should change course".

There is one direction that I felt sure was the right one for me this year, and yet I have been unseated, unnerved and altogether miserable in pursuit several times. Maybe it's been bad timing or poor judgment, or maybe both, but I now realise I need to reverse out of the cul-de-sac I've found myself in and accept it was never going anywhere.

Biggest 2008 lesson learnt? Giving unconditionally is fine, as long as people appreciate it. If they don't, get in that car, reverse like there is no tomorrow and deposit some rubber, baby.

As for friends lost, plenty of people will tell you that you can't keep everyone happy all the time, and we all make an effort to disprove the theory, but sadly it is very true. One thing I've learned this year is that seeking to elevate your profile and hence your business via the media hacks a lot of people off. Exactly why that would be I'm not entirely sure. Apparently the done thing is to keep your lips sealed tightly shut and say nothing; say nothing, that is, after you've explained to your child why there is no supper on the table and the house is freezing cold. Some people call it maintaining a dignified silence; I call it plain stupidity.

So in opting to go down the "publish and be damned" route, I find a few so-called 'friends' have fallen by the wayside. I suppose the true test of what constitutes a friend is their acceptance or otherwise that your motives are reasonable and justified. Some will choose to castigate you on the basis that you have acted dishonourably. I'd be lying if I said that this didn't hurt me when it happened fairly recently, but seeing as I can still look myself in the mirror without squirming I'd say their opinions are of no significance to me.

Number one on my list would therefore to eliminate self-righteousness. I realise we can all be guilty of it, but seriously, until you've walked in a person's shoes you have absolutely no right to judge, comment or berate. Ever.

The great thing is that for every person that chose to delete me as a Facebook friend (the shame of it...), probably twenty altogether fabulous friends replaced them.

Which leads me very neatly onto the very best bits of 2008....the bits that made it into my year-end highlights.

And the biggest highlight is that there are too many mini-highlights to list here...

But the nicest one was my journey back to the slightly indulgent and mischievous side of me that remains hidden most of the time, but when the timing is right and I come into contact with one similar, I won't hold back.

Amazing music, great company, honest exchanges and lots of side-splitting laughter. That is the photograph of 2008 I want to keep as a memento.

Why so big a deal? I hear you ask.

Little Feat, Average White Band and the Doobie Brothers.....a rare combination, but I found it. And I was more than impressed, let me tell you.

Some may think it peculiar, but it was exactly what this girl wanted for Christmas.