Why you should always aim high where men are concerned.

2009 is now well underway and so far, so good! I am still on track in terms of focus, determination and studiously avoiding all things of an emotionally-charged, relationship-type slant. And the good news is that I'm not even having to try; it's like 2008 Debsy has well and truly left the building......or maybe that should be pre-2009 Debsy.

For a whole host of reasons I've decided that this will be my last entry in this blog. I'm going to carry on writing, but this blog is now too visible and public to the point when I have to be careful what I write, and there ain't no fun in that ;-)

I don't know if I ever really engaged before with this relaxed, pragmatic and self-sufficient girl before, but I really like her and I've decided she should stay. She is the girl I always said I was, but deep down I still yearned for approval from everyone except myself. She lives life in 3D and she isn't afraid to look over the edge of the cliff.

And all this necessitates a look at where my life is heading, and the parameters that must pre-exist to make the journey viable.

The numero uno parameter......no relationships with men of even the slightest emotional nature (that would be in respect of "maybe we might get married one day....", not as in "he's a good pal, we should go out and get trolleyed") Because I have now decided that I will under no circumstances get married again. In fact, as things stand today, I doubt I will ever co-habit again. But I do like having male friends, even though that can get a bit tetchy sometimes.

Of course I do realise people will conjecture that by saying "I'll never get married again" the seal of fate is fairly and squarely on me walking down the aisle one last time. But those words I just typed........ well, let's just say there's more chance of me being selected for the 2012 Olympics than shopping for a trousseau again.

One thing that is certain is that when I do take the plunge again, there will be no compromising at all (I should qualify that by "take the plunge", I mean dating exclusively) And especially no compromising in terms of how he treats me.

There's no easy way to say this folks, I have been treated pretty abysmally in my relationships, and 2008 was a vintage year. But of course, I allowed it to happen so no-one else to blame on that one. For so long I have struggled to reconcile the fact that I've been emotionally kicked to the floor more times than I care to remember, but now I've managed it.

Now I realise that once you are self-sufficient in every area of your life that matters and you treat yourself with respect, you won't take being dicked around by man, vegetable or mineral.

Of course, I can talk in such grandiose tones because I'm sat in front of the most beautiful new iMac that, quite frankly, I love more than any bloke I may have chanced upon.

Together I know we can conquer the world, and then I can have my Audi TT.

So the moral of this story is that as women, we should always aim high where men are concerned.

A Red Arrows pilot is good, as long as he is single and the squadron leader.

A plastic surgeon performing miracle work on disfigured children from war-torn and third world countries. Nice.

A leading human rights barrister who champions the underdog to the end, putting morals and ethics before everything. Swoon.

Or simply men who aren't threatened by us, who don't attempt to manipulate and who love us for who we are.

Actually, option 4 sounds the best now I've read through them again. The first three sound like they'd have ego issues ;-)

That's me done. All that's left to say is:

Love unconditionally, live each day to the full and be utterly fabulous xxx

That's really bad Tom, isn't it......?

My pal Tom and I go back a very, very, very long way. Not in respect of sharing a bath together at the age of two, but we have shared life experience aplenty, and consequently have discussed the heck out of said experiences (more me talking at him if the truth be told, ladies and gentleman).

We worked together many moons ago and struck up a close bond, based fairly solidly around the fact that to start with, we both liked a smoke and a latte of a morning when we worked in the cut-and-thrust world of corporate sales in London. Actually we liked several smokes and accompanying lattes. That was in the day when you got paid for sitting around and having a good time very occasionally.

So imagine my glee and delight when we agreed that he would come and crash chez Debsy last weekend so that we may hit the town in order for me to consume mucho vino and Tom could perform the role that he performs so ably, that of my confessor. Tom the Confessor to the fallen Debsy. It's a dirty job, but someone has to do it, and Tom is a master at it. Of course, I should qualify that by "confessor" I refer to the spiritual type that you divulge your not-so-fabulous admissions to, rather than it be the other way around (as in "confessee", which isn't a word at all, but you get my drift).

It doesn't matter how I dress up any justification to Tom, he always sees straight through it and to it's very core. After my latest admission of rather huge shock and ample accompanying horror, he looked me straight in the eye and said:

"Deb, you crack me up. Whenever you divulge your latest misgiving to me, after giving me the gory detail you look half sideways at me, dip your head and say "that's really bad, Tom.....isn't it?" as you bite your bottom lip"

Spot on. I always do it.Partly because I think that by adopting a little girl stance I may get judged lightly, or hey, let's not beat around the bush here, there could even be a total pardon on the cards if I play it right.

But not with Tom. No way Jose.

He scored me 8.6 out of 10 on the Totally Unacceptable Behaviour chart on Saturday night after hearing my full and detailed evidence.

Bless his heart, he did go on to recall a past misdemeanour of his own that we agreed warranted a 9 out of 10.

I am practically a novice at the side of Tom, it seems.

It also gave me great pleasure in sharing my new found passion for crystal therapy with Tom; something newly discovered in the Rainbow Room in Market Rasen, which is now my favourite hang-out.

When I explained how I needed to place an abundance crystal in my wealth corner and a rose quartz in my relationship corner, he commented "Deb, I know you're really into this but I can't tell you how hard I'm trying not to laugh right now....."

The man will eat his words when I display my newly acquired abundance to him in the coming months....

Newly-acquired with the help of my new love..... a new acquaintance that has actually demonstrated to me that I am sure to fall apart whenever I am in the presence of my love's beauty and greatness.

My new iMac.

Everyone who has seen it has marvelled at it's beauty, poise and gravitas. Thankfully it is easily unplugged so that I can carry it tenderly up the stairs each night to my bedroom where I tuck it under my duvet. I am totally besotted.

And so my friends.....I have to get back to Mac right now, but not before adding this totally fabulous track currently playing at my place of work.

Gotta find way to get into your heart.